Comienzos

A surprising silver lining to the cold that has left me more or less bedridden this week is that I finally have time to sit and write a long overdue blog update.  Since my last entry about our trip to the Mission District in San Francisco, I was able to enjoy a nice week away from school at home.  I almost wish I could say that it was an action-packed, adventure-filled spring break but it was actually very low-key.  In a way, I'm thankful that my week at home was not terribly eventful.  I had a chance to relax and indulge in my most favorite of pleasures (good 'ol TV) without the heavy guilt of procrastination.  I was able to start a new series that I've grown to love very much: Happy Endings. The series revolves around the lives of six friends living in Chicago: married yuppies Brad and Jane; Alex, Jane's ditzy sister; Dave, a food truck owner who used to be engaged to Alex; Dave's gay roommate, Max; and their chronically single friend, Penny. The series functions in a similar vein of ensemble comedies like Friends and How I Met Your Mother and is definitely a must-watch for anyone with an affinity for such shows.  If you're interested in watching, Sidereel provides links to stream episodes from the show's two seasons.

On a far more exciting note, I also received some great news during the break regarding my summer plans: I was accepted to study abroad in Madrid, Spain!  My very first trip overseas, I'll be flying out June 26 and spending a month (mostly likely with a host family) in Madrid while taking two courses at la Universidad de Antonio de Nebrija.  It's a dream come true to be able to go and I'm very grateful to both God for providing the opportunity and my mom for working so hard to make ends meet so that I can go after all.  I've been wanting to take a trip to Madrid since beginning to learn Spanish about five or six years ago and it's just incredible to be able to see such things come to fruition.  I'm nervous and frankly a little scared but my excitement at being able to go outweighs any and all fear that I have.  It's all happening so fast--in less than three months, I'll be in the city of my dreams!  Prayers and positive thoughts are much appreciated both as I prepare to go overseas and in my time abroad.  It looks like I'll also be able to make a trip to Norway after finishing the program at the end of July to spend a week or so with my good friend, Claudia, and her husband.  She moved to Bergen in July of this last year so it'll be wonderful to be able to see her and to be able to meet her beau!  I'm incredibly blessed to have such opportunities.

Other than that, I'm doing my best to prepare for the semester's end and the surge of due dates slowly but steadily approaching.  I was able to sign up for three out of four of my classes for next semester (the first of my senior year of college, crazy!).  I'll be taking a class on Spanish-American colonial texts, a survey of Spanish literature, pre-1800, and an English seminar on utopian/dystopian books and movies.  So much to be excited about in the next year!  God is good!

Una tarde en el Distrito de la Misión

It gives me great joy to proclaim that spring break is finally here!  After over a month away from home (my personal record even after two and a half years as a university student), I'm home for the week and very much enjoying the vacation.  My roommate, Kim, and I took the weekend to celebrate our brief respite from school, braving the rainy Sunday afternoon to make a trip to the Mission District in San Francisco.  I've never had a chance to visit the Mission District so it was a much welcome adventure.  The neighborhood is heavily Hispanic and the culture is deeply embedded in the area, from the language you hear spoken on the streets to the various Latin American tiendas and restaurants that line the sidewalks.

Although it was raining for the majority of the afternoon, Kim and I took our time wandering down 24th street, where you will find an abundance of very colorful and amazingly detailed murals.  We trekked back up to Guerrero Street to attend Saturday vigil Mass at St. James Catholic Church--it was a beautiful service.  After another trip down the hill, we decided to grab dinner to-go from La Palma Mexicatessen.  I would highly recommend it to anyone who finds themselves hankering for some delicious Mexican food in the Mission District!

Here are some of my favorite photos from our day out.  Enjoy!

Leading with Trust

Recently, my roommate and I decided to give another parish in the area a try: St. Augustine Parish of Oakland.  This Sunday marks our fourth Sunday at the new parish and what can I say--it's been an absolutely wonderful and enriching experience.  What I've got for you today is an unbelievably crazy story that I've been hoping to share with as many people as I can.  Here it goes:

Last Sunday, the First Sunday of Lent, Fr. Mark says that he has been to Kenya and he wants us as parishioners to help.  Due to the widespread toll of HIV/AIDS, many, many children have been left orphans and are in great need of care.  In this particular village, there are already two orphanages, each housing about 16 children each.  The missionaries there would like to build a third orphanage that would house another 50 children and have laid the foundation for the dormitory, however, the total cost is $65,000 and they do not have the resources, nor the funds, to continue building.  They need money.  So you think Fr. Mark is going to ask for a collection, right?  Wrong.  Instead, he says that he is going to distribute money to us.  Get this: He orchestrates a 'reverse collection,' circulating envelopes that each hold between $15 to $150.  With this, he requests that each parishioner, over the Lenten season (the forty days leading up to Easter), take the money they have received and use it creatively as a way to bring back more money.  All he asks is that we get creative.

The baskets come around and I pull out an envelope--lo and behold, inside I find two crisp bills adding up to a total of $15.  My roommate discovers a total of $50 in her envelope.  Our close friend in hers unfolds another $30.  That morning, this parish church in the middle of Oakland gave away $12,000 in the hope and trust that we could do more.

Trust is key and I'm energized here to lead with my best self.  Through the kindness and generosity of a few friends, Catholics and non-Catholics alike, I have been able to raise about $50, but I am hoping before Pentecost Sunday when the money is due back to the parish (May 27) that I can raise at least $200, if not more.

I understand that we all have various financial obligations and this may not be the best time but if you can donate even a dollar to the cause, please do.  Here you will find a Paypal account that I have set up in order to accommodate online donations, however I am also very willing to receive donations through the mail (leave me a comment and I will make sure you have a means of contacting me regarding donations by mail).  I thank you all in advance for your generosity.

Please take some time to think about this and if you are at all interested and have the means, please donate.  If you are unable to donate, please pass along the word.  It's a great cause and what St. Augustine Parish is doing is a testament to the trust it holds in the creativity of its members.

For more information, please check out their website: http://www.staugustineoakland.com/index.html


God Bless!

'If only, If only': A Wishlist for February

1.  OPI Holland Collection, $8.50 each.

Every time OPI announces the lineup for its next collection my heart skips a beat.  This spring it's all about the OPI Holland Collection, a line of shimmers and cremes inspired by the Dutch homeland.  My personal favorites are Vampsterdam, Dutch 'Ya Just Love OPI? and Wooden Shoe Like To Know?  Take a look at these swatches and you'll want to get your hands on a few bottles yourself!

2.  Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling, about $16.

Known for her portrayal of the fabulous Kelly Kapoor on NBC's The Office, Mindy Kaling can now add book author to her resumé!  Reminiscent of Tina Fey's 'Bossypants,' 'Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)' is a collection of essay about Kaling's early life and career, intertwined with short observational essays about her friends, family, and relationships. As if her hilarious screenwriting wasn't enough to impress me--I eagerly await my chance to read her comic memoir!

3.  Midnight in Paris, about $18.

A must-have for anyone attached to the arts, Midnight in Paris is a romantic comedy film, written and directed by the one and only Woody Allen, that centers on a small group of Americans visiting the French capital for business and pleasure. The protagonist, played by Owen Wilson, is forced to confront the shortcomings of his relationship with his fiancée and their divergent goals due to his magical experiences in the city beginning each night at midnight. Attention literary/art enthusiasts: Gertrude Stein, Pablo Picasso, Salvador Dalí, T.S. Eliot, Henri Matisse and F. Scott Fitzgerald all make an appearance.

4.  Torani Sugar-Free English Toffee Syrup, about $10.

This year Santa (or should I say Mom and Dad) brought me my very own espresso maker and milk steamer.  Needless to say, I've been experimenting with various syrup combinations ever since.  Starbucks offers what I originally thought was seasonal: the inexplicably delicious Toffee Nut latte.  I'd love to add the sugar-free syrup to my collection.

5.  A Zombie Ate My Cupcake: 25 Deliciously Weird Cupcake Recipes, about $11.

On a recent outing to Barnes & Noble, I stumbled across this very 'interesting' cookbook.  After any extended length of time with me, you'll find rather quickly that I have quite the sweet tooth, especially when it comes to baked goods.  Cupcakes, my personal favorite to eat, are also one of my favorites to make.  The unorthodox recipes appeal to my morbid fascination with calaveras, gravestones and vital organs.  Check out this website for a few photos of the wonderfully creepy cupcake creations.

A few of my favorite things

This week's Valentine's Day-themed Glee showcased the beautiful Rachel Berry in this little number. Unfortunately, the Movie Moment Dress will cost you a pretty penny (about $190) but my goodness, is it adorable! I'm a little disappointed I don't have the means to make it a part of my wardrobe.

During the holiday season, I discovered Starbucks' toffee nut latte. A cozy classic that's smooth and satisfying, I recently discovered the tasty drink is actually available all year long! What a pleasant surprise for me.

During winter break, my mom and I tried our hand at making cake balls and although it wasn't necessarily the easiest project to carry out, the pay-off was more than worth the labor. The lovely Bakerella has several recipes and tutorials that break down the process rather nicely. I own Bakerella's cake pop book and would definitely recommend it to anyone thinking of giving cake pop making a try.

I'd be lying if I said part of me didn't want to be best pals with Emma Stone. Although I'm not exactly sure how possible that is, at least there's the movies. The other night I watched Easy A for the first time in quite a while and I'm hoping to give Crazy Stupid Love a re-watch this weekend. Meanwhile, Zombieland is sitting in my Amazon cart.

Recently started series five of Doctor Who on Netflix.  Still facing separation anxiety from Ten but Eleven is definitely growing on me.

Office fans rejoice!  The adorable Jenna Fischer signed up for Twitter.

Wrote a paper this week about Horacio Quiroga's short story 'Los mensú.' 20th century Uruguayan playwright, poet, and short story writer, Quiroga dabbles in the supernatural, covering the most intriguing aspects of nature, often tinged with horror, disease, and suffering for human beings.

Sorry Pandora but you've been replaced by my new favorite app, Spotify. A very handy way to put together playlists and look at artist discographies. Plus, it's quite fun to eavesdrop on what your Facebook friends are listening to.

My newest obsession as far as blogs go, A Cup of Jo is the hub for all things fashion, design, photography, bikes and of course, the musings of moderator, Joanna Goddard. So many cute friends and amusing entries... I found myself scrolling back all the way to June 2011.

all will be well

Señor, me has mirado a los ojos,

sonriendo has dicho mi nombre.

En la arena he dejado mi barca:

junto a Ti buscaré otro mar.

(Pescador de Hombres)

I've been meaning to update for a while but haven't had the chance.  With the spring semester starting, things have managed to get very busy very fast but I can't complain!  It was an interesting start to say the least but I'm incredibly happy to say that I'm making some big changes in my life and that I'm more excited than I can adequately express about what's in store for me in the future.

My classes this semester are absolutely wonderful, let me tell you.  We just completed our first full week of classes and I am incredibly pleased with my course selections this spring.  Typically, since I'm a double major in English and Spanish Language/Literature, I balance my course load with two classes for each major.  This semester, however, I'm taking three Spanish classes and one English seminar so the dynamic is entirely different.  My Spanish classes are amazing... I'm taking a modern Spanish literature survey course, a course on la Ciudad de México and a writing intensive literature course themed "Selva, fronteras y dioses antiguos."  My instructors are fantastic and clearly very enthusiastic about the subjects they teach.  Although the amount of reading I have to do has certainly increased, it's been surprisingly enjoyable to explore the body of Spanish literature and I look forward to continuing my studies in the next the year and a half and well on into graduate school.

Besides that, I've continued my involvement in my pet project, El Club de Español, and my editor position in the Berkeley Fiction Review.  What's even more exciting though is that this semester, I'm facilitating my very own course through the English department!  My friend Rachel and I are offering a two-unit course devoted to the NBC Thursday lineup (The Office, Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock).  We had our first class this last Tuesday and it was so much fun!  It's so refreshing to know there are other TV enthusiasts out there just like me and that I now have a forum in which I can discuss some of my favorite shows on a regular basis.  I look forward to the talks we're going to have this semester and if all goes well, I plan to teach it again in the fall.

On a more personal level though, I've decided to step back and really evaluate some things in my life... It's been a long-time coming but it needed to be done.  I stumbled across a quote today that sums things up perfectly: "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."  The truth is I've held on quite tightly to several situations and relationships that in reality are not good at all for me and have left me with more self-destructive tendencies than I care to admit.  Fortunately, all is not lost and I have the opportunity in letting go to allow the Lord, in my patience, to give me something even better than what has come and gone.  I made a much over-due trip to Confession this weekend and I'm beginning to see that I have so much control over the progression of my life and my own happiness.  A good friend of mine recently told me, "Even if it hurts, people come into our lives for one reason or another.  We touch the lives of each other and then we learn the hard lessons with people that are not so nice to us."  I've spent enough time letting myself be held back by one thing or another and I look forward to seeing how God's plan unfolds for me.  In the meantime, I'm enjoying my time here at Berkeley, my classes, my friends, and the time I'm able to spend with my family at home when school permits.

A lovely hymn from Mass this morning ties things together quite nicely: 

"All will be well, all will be well, all manner of things will be well!"

Codfish Creek Falls

This past week, my friend Wil and I drove up to Codfish Creek Falls to explore and hike the trail there.  I haven't gone hiking since I worked up at Camp Pendola as a camp counselor two summers ago so it was nice to get back out there.  The pictures above are only a glimpse of the scenery but the beauty of the area is astounding.  It's such an incredibly different environment from the city life that I'm used to during the majority of the year.  Needless to say, it was a relaxing experience and I made sure to take a few moments in prayer to thank God for the opportunity for some peace.

I head back to Berkeley tomorrow to start another semester of school.  Frankly, I'm in denial--I'm not entirely thrilled about going back and I'm a bit nervous about my workload this semester.  At the same time though, once I transition back to life at school, it will be nice to get into a routine again.  In the meantime, prayers are much needed and certainly much appreciated.

Affirmation

I don't think I ever put much stake in the idea until now, but they say, when you say something often enough, it starts to ring true, at least in your own mind.  Truth be told, I'm an incredibly stubborn person--it's not at all my best quality, of course, but it's something I have to admit about myself.  Unfortunately, the downside to such a characteristic is that not only can it affect my interactions with others but in a lot of ways, it also has an impact on how I view myself and my own life.  I have nasty habit of convincing myself that something is right for me and sticking to that initial judgment, thus accepting something that in actuality might not be the proper fit and/or rejecting something much better suited for me.  I've touched on this problem in earlier entries and I realize that it's a bigger deal than I previously thought, especially when it causes me to compromise my own happiness.  It's one thing to ride through the tough parts of life and accept challenges because they are an unavoidable growing exercise but it's quite another to subject yourself to unnecessary hardship with the hope that things will eventually work themselves out.

I have to be completely honest with myself and own up to the fact that in the last two years or so, on more than one occasion, I have compromised a lot of who I am, what I value and what I know is right.  I look back on some of my decisions and to be frank, I am ashamed, not only because I did something wrong, knowing full well that it wasn't an intelligent choice, but because in the end, that decision blew up in my face and left me in a worse position than I was at the start.  What's worse is that a lot of the mistakes I have made in the last year especially have been because I wanted to please another person and I think that's what puts up the biggest red flag and bothers me the most.

Typically, I am not a people person and often times, if someone doesn't treat me well, I write them off as unimportant and cut my losses.  However, returning to the issue of these plans I tend to make for myself, if a person is part of what I've already mapped out for the future, I take a lot more abuse, so to speak, than I would have endured otherwise.  I try to take meaning from these disappointments and I have on several occasions, quite irrationally, of course, imagined myself as a martyr figure, taking these sufferings on with the hope that there will be some pay-off at the end for being so patient.  The problem with such behavior though is that there have been times that I've wanted others to change so badly that I have neglected the parts of my life that I can change.  I forget that I can't change them but I can change myself--I can control my own actions and ultimately, my own happiness.

None of this is to say that now that I've come to this realization I can enjoy my very own pity party and lament all of the mistakes and missed opportunities I've had over the years, rather I see it as a chance to rejoice.  I look at where I am and yes, some things are not at all what I expected, but I've been incredibly blessed and I know I have a bright future ahead of me.  I've spent a lot of time very upset about all that I feel I have lost and for the most part, such grieving has not been at all productive.  I deserve to be happy and I have to be honest with myself for once and admit that for much of the last two years, I have not been truly happy with my life (even if I've tried to convince myself that I was).  When I face that reality, even if it is a bit harsh, I realize that a joy much greater awaits me. I feel uplifted and capable of success, calm and ready to glorify God through the talents He has given me.  I've punished myself enough with pining and other self-destructive tendencies--now I need to move forward to accomplish greater feats.

This week, my family gave up one of our dogs after seeing how badly he injured one of our other dogs.  None of us wanted to do it and of course, it was painful, seeing as we have had him for at least ten years, but witnessing the healing process our other dog is now undertaking, that pain is less severe.  I see in this incident, although small in scale, a similar opportunity for my own healing and my own future.  It hurts more than I care to admit to remove the aspects of my life that have proven to be unhealthy, but when I take a deep breath and envision the path now opened up to me, I feel so relieved.

I am a child of God, beautiful and strong, created in His image with the capability of accomplishing some wonderful things in my life.  The more I tell myself that and accept its truth, the more clearly I can see how bright the future is that awaits me.  I don't know what that future entails, where it will take me or what exactly I'll do, but I know that God is good and He will provide for me, no matter what.  It feels incredible to be in a place where I can say that, even if it's been a bit of a challenge to arrive there, but I'm here and all that remains is to go forward.

So this is the new year

Call me a party pooper if you'd like but I've always regarded New Years with an attitude of indifference.  Of course it's exciting to think of the promise of a new beginning, a blank state, the chance to do things a bit differently this year, however I never know what to do.  New Years' resolutions are a tricky thing.  Typically, I don't like to make them, simply because I tend to drop them by February and beat myself up for it up until at least March, but maybe the way I make resolutions is the problem.  It's actually quite difficult to just say, "You know what, this year I'm (not) going to do this."  Sounds great in theory, yes, but in practice, whatever thing I've resolved to do differently in the New Year always seems to fall flat.  I decided this year though that instead of just picking something and running with it (or as in recent years, not resolving to do anything at all), I'm going to make a set of goals for the year 2012.  Practical, beneficial and in many cases, much-needed, here are a few goals that are reasonable, do-able and guaranteed to better my life and me as a person:

1.  Worry less about the future.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I am the world's biggest worrywart.  Everyone worries but I tend to make things a much bigger deal than they need to be simply because I let a situation give me anxiety.  2012 is a chance for me to calm down, take a deep breath, and work through the challenges I face one thing at a time.  I have a verse from Matthew 6 taped to my laptop that says, "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself."  I think that'll be my new motto.

2.  Start saving money.

I'm a college student so naturally, money can be tight.  Thankfully, I have a steady job that allows me to work a few days a week and the sunny State of California has awarded me Cal Grant funds the last few years that have helped out more than I can say.  That said, there are a handful of things that I spend on that with time add up (ahem, coffee and food).  This year, I vow to be a little more cautious with my spending and cut corners when I can.

3.  Spend less time on Facebook.

Facebook is great for connecting with friends but occasionally I find myself doing a little too much Facebook stalking and spending substantial amounts of time scrolling down my newsfeed (hey, don't act like you never do it!).  Last year, I gave up Facebook for Lent and I can't even begin to explain how much more at peace I was without it.  I'm not planning on giving up Facebook entirely but I'm sure it wouldn't be a bad thing to cut back on my daily usage.

4.  Get back into running.

I can't pretend that I was ever an avid runner but for a few years in high school, I ran long-distance.  My times were never anything too brag about (to be frank, I was one of the slowest runners on the team) but distance running not only kept me in shape but was a great stress reliever.  This past November, I ran a 5K race for the first time in God knows how long and it was such a refreshing experience.  This year I hope to get at least three 5K (or maybe even my first 10K!) races in before 2013 rolls around and to run on a more consistent basis.

5.  Study/work abroad.

Since high school it's been a big dream of mine to go to Spain.  Unfortunately, I've never been big on traveling (my family vacations at Disneyland...) and my only plane trips barely lasted a little over an hour but I'm hoping to change that this upcoming year.  I'm looking into summer programs at the moment and will be (God willing!) applying to a few programs in the upcoming months.  I'm torn whether to pursue an internship or to just study abroad but I'm determined this year to finally make my dream of going to Spain come true.

6.  Keep in better touch with friends and make some new ones.

I've always been more of a "few close friends" than "many acquaintances" kind of girl and I think it shows--I can count my dearest friends on my hands.  I guess that means I have no excuse for not checking in every once in a while, huh!  I have friends all over the state, even a few in different parts of the country, but I think putting in the effort to keep in touch on a more regular basis will not only help the friendships I have with these people but hey, it might be kinda fun too.

7.  Pray more.

I wasn't raised as a Christian (although both my parents were raised in Christian denominations) so the last 4-5 years have been a bit of a challenge as far as turning Christian practices, such as prayer, into habitual actions.  That said, I want to up the amount that I pray from my basic bedtime prayers to something I do throughout the day.  About a week ago, I bought myself a little notebook to write prayer intentions, that way I won't have any excuse not to pray or for forgetting anyone.  In 2012, I hope to make prayer a bigger part of my daily life and to enter into conversation with God more often.

8.  Say 'thank you' and 'I love you' more.

Another tidbit about myself: I can be pretty awful at expressing my emotions.  I never want to make anyone upset or have someone misunderstand how I feel so for quite some time now, I've opted for the easy route and coined "nothing" or "I'm fine" as my catch phrases.  Of course, I see now that's not helpful to anybody and want to work on not only expressing myself better but saying how I feel when I feel it, especially if it's something positive.  That said, in 2012, I want to say 'thank you' and 'I love you' more often to those in my life that I've been blessed with and that I appreciate dearly.

There's a lot I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year but the way I see it, everything has its place and time.  Odds are I'll stumble across what I need to if I'm headed in the right direction.  If I've learned anything this year, it's that attaining happiness, like any other goal or objective, takes effort and a great reliance in God's capacity to heal, embrace and care for His children.  Lord knows I've still got a lot of growing up to do before I figure things out but you know, I'm growing and learning.  I look forward to all the new year has to offer and I'm very excited to see what God has in store for me in the months to come!